Overcoming FEAR and Committing to LOVE
TAKEN FROM THE BEST SELLING BOOK,“ MY BIG IDEA”
“What if... everyone would COMMIT to the idea of setting our sights to LOVING, NO MATTER WHAT. That means, setting an INTENTION BEFORE HAND, TO SPEAK AND ACT FROM THE HEART.
As we know, once the ego has thrown its first punch— then justifies the reaction— there’s no turning back. If we change this antiquated response by acknowledging the value of KINDNESS, CALMNESS AND CONSIDERATION and that “the humble shall surely inherit the Earth” — there can be, at least, a possibility of LOVING. WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO COMMIT?
Good question! This query appeared in our book of published authors intending to give readers ideas for journaling. My question on this page was to prompt you, the reader, to explore if you could commit to bring Loving into your life— on all levels.
But I stopped myself before sending this off to my editor. What had I just asked the masses to do? Wow, now this could really appear as a big deal commitment— edging on fantasy.
To think people could actually accomplish something so HUGE as living from love and implementing it in their daily life. I mean, it would be ideal if we all could accomplish it — create a whole new Earth of compassion for All—but is it doable? To an individual actually contemplating the challenge, well, it could almost be overwhelming, I realized. We’ve never been taught how to do that. Most people have been brought up believing: I’m not good enough, or smart enough, or (put what goes here) enough, which means you aren’t loving being yourself or think you can’t be good enough for other’s love.
Sometimes, it’s so overpowering at times that most just revert to frustration, over reaction, anger, physical aggression or just plain avoidance. That’s why our Earth seems to be in such upheaval right now.
Loving is not the norm—yet.
So before I sent off the piece to be published, I decided I would take on my own challenge—what would it take to commit? I would journal it myself.
First off, I had this feeling from deep-down within that it would take tremendous courage to stand up for living a life I’ve always wanted. How many people do I know, that are that brave? Am I? Heck, it’s too scary sometimes to have guts. Right? I mean I have guts, but mostly that’s for digesting my food. Questions came forward in my newly formed exploration...
First one: Why?
Why was it so scary for me to look at something I didn’t want to?
Why was it so petrifying to some, that people would rather choose to run away, live a terrible, miserable, and victim life rather than have courage to look something in the face—straight in the face—learn from it, and change their life to freedom from the self-inflicted blockage?
The things we are afraid of, are often from decisions we made as children to survive, or at least, to tolerate painful and horrifying situations—sometimes hiding them deep in the subconscious so that it can’t effect our lives. But it does.
This is the culprit. More often than not—we all have something that’s stopping us.
Why was fear so intimidating?
I know “Fear” is a program lodged in the medulla oblongata. It’s there to help us survive catastrophic events; it can actually shut down the rest of the brain (like logic) in order to run from bears, get outta the way from falling rocks, quickly. Heck, it may have existed way back in the dinosaur days! If humans existed back then, we would have had to possess that program or we would have been smashed to death every time that titanic beast wanted to lay down and take a nap, or do his business on a hut we were camping out in.
FEAR has been around for a long time.
So, COURAGE has to have been around a long time too -
—however, I’m not sure in which part of the brain it lives. I’ll have to look it up...
Then when I was playing around on Facebook I ran across a beautiful explanation as to just how to live a life of courage, day to day— and who could have written it but, the newly acclaimed Saint— Mother Teresa:
Sooo, just what would it take to live life this way? Courage. It would take courage. Let’s look at that.
I suddenly felt nervous. Was I good enough to really have what I really wanted? I immediately had a feeling of cold ice shivers all up and down my body. When I’m uncomfortable, I try to over ride it, I usually get silly or start cracking jokes. I found myself playfully making up my own definition to put into the dictionary:
Courage is the vehicle used to stomp on,
or step over fear.
Just then the song, “These boots are made for walking...” pops into my head,
I love letting the Kid Within come out to play.
I teach the Kid Within at our retreats— how to tap into that huge playground of our imagination. And just let what comes through come through.
Like a kid at play, I found myself making up an exercise that would
overcome fear. I didn’t care if it was crazy —this was my journal, I could do anything I wanted.
Kids have the power of play. Grown-ups do too if they get out of their way. If they give up judging themselves—which is essential to creating anything.
I had an idea. I didn’t know if it would work— but it just popped into my head, so why not?
So I put on some brightly colored, heavy, garden boots and start stomping around. I did. I stomped on all my fears.
There’s a fear: I’m not good enough” and I stomped on it. Oh, there’s one, stomped until I laughed my head off watching myself be such a clown. But it worked. I actually felt pretty stoked. I had the courage to do anything I wanted.
What I took away from the elating experience was:
Courage is just making the decision to jump past fear.
Then I remembered that when I’m at the top of a diamond run on a ski slope looking down at a sheer cliff... "Yikes" is the first word that flashes across my mind—I’ll admit that. BUT I don’t choose to stay there. I might call in the Powers That Be in form of a prayer, (or set an intention) to carry me down the slope safely. Can’t hurt.
I take a deep breath and just jump.
I go past all the “what if’s”,
be in the true moment
I take a deep breath and just jump. I go past all the “what if’s”, let go,be in the true moment of the mountain; breathing with every fear that comes up, letting it go; responding to all the challenges it's given me, I feel the success of one maneuver slide into the next; pretty soon I’m totally with the mountain: the exhilaration, the love of the opportunity of being in the ‘Zone’ where everything works with grace and ease. And when I reach the bottom of the mountain, my chest is filled with so much pride of what I accomplished over what truly seemed impossible...I’m ready to do it again.
That’s how life works. We have choices: jump and learn and be full— OR be safe and learn nothing and remain in fear of what looks impossible. You get nada, you are empty, and self-confidence becomes your enemy. Something other people have. The ones with COURAGE.
Well now, lets look at fear...just what is fear again, with the intention of seeing it for what it really is:
Ok, before fear— what existed? Nothingness, right? This nothingness, holds nothing, until a human memory or a judgment or a past-remembered emotion was thrown into that benign energy of nothing—poof— then fear is created. Whaalaa.
Fear is something that has to be
created from nothing.
I wanted to think about that more:
1. Are we, humans, really that powerful that we can create something so complex and dark as—fear?
2. Or did God/spirit/ the Omnipresent Source of all Divine Energy— whatever you see an Infinite Power— create fear?
Now I was riding a storm of exploration.
(I’ll use the word God from here on.) If God is Love — did this pure, perfect energy actually create fear? Would that energy called Love actually be able to create fear?
I might take a guess: What if a part of God, an aspect of God known as the Hu-man, a co-creator of sorts: an unfinished, stumbling, bumbling, naive, uneducated creator, could and would have created... fear. Bingo! Culprits caught
Fear is man-made!
Yes, Fear had to have been created by man, of course! ( Not, women, we’re too cool. Not. We probably created it way before men, actually.)
But why did the human create fear?
It was obvious, so darn obvious, I could hardly even write the conclusion to this inquiry because I was overcome with Irrrk to even write it. It was created to gain POWER AND CONTROL over other human beings—to hold the ego (also man-made) in place to be able to make one feel superior to another.
But then, I suddenly had an epiphany!
There really can be no such thing as fear!
Wow, a feeling of freedom flew across my excitement of newly evoked possibility. But what in the hello can I do with this realization, I thought?
Well...IF, I choose to create a fear thought. IF, I buy into what someone has created before... then...I can become one of those miserable, victim culprits. But, if I don’t buy into man-made fear (or woman-made in my situation) and just let it be what it truly is—nothing— then, I am free to be true to my innate self, my authentic self: my kind, considerate, compassionate self—the loving self.
I am free to be true to my innate self,
my authentic self: my kind, considerate, compassionate self—the loving self.
Yea! I’m Home! I win!
Again, I went over my find, to clarify it. If I don’t create fear, if I stay in the knowing of the Innate Loving I am made of, then I too can live a life like Saint Mother Teresa. I don’t have to care what people think of me. Ever.
But... again, I not sure about the “Saint” part— I’m sure to make too many mistakes just straight out of the shoot. But at least I have a vision, an intention I can set, and correct, and correct, and correct, ‘til those cows come home, so to speak.
Yep, something I learned real young, fall off the horse,
get right back on, Yeeeehaa.
I sent the piece off to the editor, UN-substantiated, but a work in process.
IN CONCLUSION: The commitment I challenged people to was not so overwhelming, after all. I proved it, after making changes in my thinking and rehearsing actions of loving so often, it came easily. Almost rote, actually.
I’m now able to live my life looking for the loving in everything now. CELEBRATING the gift it gives and releasing it back into the nothingness in which it was originally created.
Cher Slater-Barlevi, M.A.
The Heart of Manifestation
Join me this November in Ojai, CA for one of our heart-centered, spiritual, and personal growth retreats!